A Cat's "I Should Have Stayed in Bed" Day

Woke up this morning. Had to pee badly. Ran to litter box. It was being used. Ran to other litter box, also in use. Ran to litterbox in bathroom. Door was closed. Peed on the floor. Human came out of bathroom and stepped in it. Got yelled at. Not my fault, went to sulk in corner of basement.

Called to breakfast. Didn't get upstairs fast enough, dog ate most of it. Now I only get low fat diet crunchies for the rest of the day. Am really pissed off. Which reminds me, I need to go again. See empty carton lying on the floor in the hallway. Humans are so careless, I'll show them. Peed in carton.

Going to have a nap and put this morning out of my mind. Dog sleeping in my favourite chair. Want to smack him but will probably get yelled at. Going down to sleep in Tiger's bed, I dare him to complain.

Can't nap, Tiger keeps hitting me on the head or jumping up and nipping at my bum. Chased him away but he'll be back. Moved to corner in basement.

Had a good nap. Came up to look out the window for awhile. Saw strange cat on my deck. Yowled, howled, and hissed at him to get out of my yard. Got yelled at.

Had a good supper. Ran around and knocked a few things over. Feeling better until human saw pee in carton. Got yelled at.

Going to bed and pull the covers over my head.
My name is Max and I've had a bad day.

Cat Behaviour - Does Your Cat Give Itself Jobs?

My oldest cat has a very definite sense of herself. She has rules of behavior - for herself and for me when dealing with her. She takes herself quite seriously.

When she was about 2 years old, just getting totally past the kitten stage, she started assigning herself duties.

At the time, I was working a midnight to 7 am shift. I got up at 10 pm. After a while I noticed that if I wasn't up within 10 minutes of my alarm going off, Luna would be there working at waking me up. She started nicely, licking my eyelids and if that didn't work she progressed up the pain ladder - a few slaps across the face - up to the one that always worked - a claw inserted into my nostril and pressed down.

When I left that job and started working 2 part-time day jobs - with different starting times, within a week she had my schedule down pat. She knew what time I usually went to bed and if I didn't make any moves, she would start patting me on the leg, meowing and trying to lead me to the bedroom.

She knew what times I got up on different days, and once again I got 10 minutes leeway from the time the alarm went off to get up. After a while I didn't need an alarm, she knew the time and got me up. I was never late for work.

The only unfortunate part of this is that cats don't know about statutory holidays, and I was always woken up even when I could legitimately sleep in.

I never get sick - have never had the flu, can't remember the last time I had a cold, so this came as a surprise to me. One evening I ate something that was off - spent most of the night with my head in the toilet. During the whole sorry episode Luna was with me. When I was hanging over the toilet, she was there. When I staggered back to bed between episodes she stretched out on the bed beside me. And when I was running to the bathroom, she was running with me. She never slept or left my side the whole time. It was very sweet and totally unexpected.

My other cat is still too young to feel the need to do anything but eat and play, but I'm wondering if eventually he too will decide to give himself a job, or whether Luna is unique in this way.

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Tiger the Terrific, Tiger the Terrible

It’s been almost a month now since Tiger got neutered. It has made a huge difference. The spraying has stopped – his and Max’s. The wailing and fights have lessened, although there are still some fur flying episodes.

Tiger seems to have age regressed since getting fixed. He is now 10 months old but acts even younger than when he first came. He zooms everywhere, jumps on everything, will play with his toys for hours.

He has not endeared himself to the other animals in the house because of his tail fetish. Dog’s tails, cats’ tails, he doesn’t care, he attacks them. He is either crouched on top of something ready to jump on the tail of any unsuspecting animal walking underneath or sneaking up behind them to grab their tail and then run. The dogs are now afraid of him, and the other cats snarl.

A few times the other cats have gotten close to him, but only when he is sleeping. Luna has allowed him to lie on the bed with her – as long as he stays at the other end, and Max has joined him on the back of the sofa. So there is hope for peace in the future.

Tiger is now in harness training. He fights like mad when I’m putting him in his harness. But as soon as it’s on, he’s ready to go outside. At first, it was 2 steps, fall down, 2 steps, fall down. But all the wonderful smells of whatever it is cats can smell, and fresh grass to eat, it soon makes him forget he’s on a leash and we have a slow wander around the backyard.

As Tiger grows and he is now twice the size he was when I first brought him in, his coloring is changing. The brown has become lighter and the grey color much more pronounced. He is a very sweet, very pretty cat who loves cuddling and giving kisses. He’s still a brat, and he’s still lovely.

How Your Cats Train You to Obey

Simple Cat Sign Language
I have been trained by 5 cats over the past 10 years. They all used the same basic sign language method of training. Of course, there are many variations to the method. It all depends on how fast a learner you are and/or on how fast you complied with their requests. These are the 4 basic communications.

Teaching the Human “I Want Food Now”

1. Stand or sit close to human and stare at them until they look at you, then lick your lips to indicate you are ready to eat.
2. Jump on human and lick their lips.
3. Jump on human and bite their lips.

In all cases, follow up by immediately leading them to your preferred eating place.

Telling the Human “It’s Time to Wake Up”

1. Sit on bed and stare at them until they open their eyes.
2. Sit on human and stare at them until open their eyes.
3. Lick the human’s lips or eyelids until they wake up.
4. Sit on human and give them a few good smacks across face – claws kept in.
5. If none of the above work–carefully insert one claw inside human’s nose and press down.

In all cases, follow up by immediately leading them to your preferred eating place.

Letting the Human Know “I’m Unhappy with You”

1. Refuse to acknowledge them.
2. If they look at you, turn your back on them.
3. If they touch you, get up and move away.
4. Indicate that you are hungry and then refuse your food.
5. Shred something that belongs to them.
6. Beat up dogs – if available.

Telling the Human “I Like You”

1. Sit beside them.
2. Curl up on their lap.
3. Rub head on them.
4. Lift head, look them in the eye, and indicate that you will allow yourself to be kissed.
5. Present them with a mouse (dead or alive) – if available.

There are pros and cons to learning what your cat is telling you. On the one hand it makes life simpler when you know what it is your cat wants. On the other hand, once your cat has you trained in the basics and knows that you are trainable, she will continue the instruction. You will be in training for life.

Why the Water Pistol is My New Best Friend

It’s been nearly 3 weeks now since I decided to adopt Tiger, a lovely brown tabby. He is 8 months old and intact. He has had his shots and gets his booster this Wednesday. Then there is a 2 week wait before they will do the neuter. In the meantime, all is loud and stinky at my house. Max (the 5 year old neutered male) has not welcomed Tiger. He wails when Tiger comes near and Tiger is always coming near to him. I think he enjoys upsetting Max. There have been a few fur flying episodes, with Max the aggressor and the one who got the scratch across his nose. I have a water pistol handy at all times, one in every room in fact. At the end of a really bad day I don’t even have to use it, just show it to them and they both run.
Tiger is a friendly cat who wants to play. Unfortunately, neither Max nor Luna (7 year old female) wants to be around him. He keeps approaching Luna and gets hissed at for his trouble. He runs towards her hoping she will chase him and play, but she backs off, growls or hisses, and then turns her back on him.
We finally got a Feliway Plug-in for the living room. It hasn’t really kicked in yet, though Max does seem a little less tense when Tiger is in the same room. A couple of times he has even let Tiger walk past without yowling and smacking him. I’m hoping that’s not as good as it gets.
The worst of course is the smell, the constant cleaning, and the crawling around trying to find the source. Max started spraying as soon as Tiger was let in the house. The first week was the worst. Max has let up, but now Tiger has started. Not everyday, but enough to make you despair.
Anyway, Tiger has made himself at home, despite the other cats. I’m hoping that once he’s fixed, Max will accept him; or at least be able to ignore him.
The only quiet time is overnight. Tiger is shut in the sun room to sleep at night. It’s very comfortable in there, bit cushy chair to sleep in, water, food and litter box. But he hates being segregated; whines the whole time I’m carrying him out there. I’ve learned not to say “bedtime” because he runs and hides. That’s after he learned that running to my bed, curling up and pretending to be asleep wasn’t going to work.