Monday, December 3, 2007

How Not To Catch a Mouse

Today's blog is not about cats. Too tired from too much shovelling snow and having to remove 2 inches of ice that had totally encased my car to write anything new. So I am putting in an article I wrote about a month ago, entitled How Not to Catch a Mouse - and yes, it is a true story.

Some years ago I looked up from my dining room table into the kitchen and saw a mouse strolling along the kitchen counter. My dilemma: I wanted him out of my apartment, but I didn’t want to kill him. I wanted him to either leave my apartment, never to return, or, I had to catch him and move him elsewhere. The following were my not so brilliant solutions to the problem.

Action #1 – Buy spackle. Find Mouse hole. Fill with spackle
A word of advice.
Be sure the mouse is on the other side of the mouse hole before you fill it in.Half an hour after I went to bed – this was a studio apt, I heard wild, desperate scratching. Thinking the mouse was undoing all my careful plastering trying to get back in, I crawled to the mouse hole in the kitchen ready to smack him when he stuck his head out. What I saw was a mouse on this side of the hole trying to get back home. And yes, I did have to remove the plaster so the mouse could go home.

Action #2 – Corner Mouse, Put in Bag, Take to the Park
A word of caution.
Young mice chase each other around for fun. If you have a young mouse, you may just be getting a new best friend.
I spent 2 hours chasing the mouse, and then gave up exhausted. As I lay on the sofa I watched the mouse sidle along the wall, look down the hall and when he didn’t see me there, he strolled into the living room area, sat down and proceeded to give himself a wash, in front of me. Running does work up a sweat.

Action #3 – Sit Outside Mouse Hole with a Spray Bottle of Water. Blast Him With Water When He Sticks his Head Out.
A forewarning. You can be hypnotized by a mouse. Or is it just me?
I sat waiting by the mouse hole with my spray bottle aimed and ready. He stuck his head out the hole and immediately back in. He did this a couple of times and then quickly slipped his whole body out and walked towards me. I froze, totally. He then sat down in front of me and stared up into my eyes. And there we were. Staring at each other. Me a stone statue, he relaxed. Unable to move or take my eyes off him, I started to consider – he really was kind of cute, he had beautiful eyes, big, black, and such a sweet little face. Then a voice in my head said “What are you doing? You don’t think mice are cute. He’s hypnotizing you.” I crumpled to the floor. The mouse ran back into his hole. I cried. I had just gone into combat with an unarmed mouse, and the mouse won.

Action #4 – Plaster all areas along the floor. Tape cupboards doors shut in case he comes up pipe openings.
Do not do this. You may have to rescue the mouse.
He did come up the pipes. The tape didn’t keep one of the cupboard door totally closed – or I didn’t close it properly. The mouse got stuck to the tape, and the tape was stuck to the cupboard door. He screamed. It was 3 am. I had to pull the tape off him, taking a fair bit of mouse hair with it. He screamed the whole time. When he was finally freed from the tape, he ran, never to return. I stopped trembling 4 hours later.

I now live with several cats. No mouse ever comes near my house.