How Your Cats Train You to Obey

Simple Cat Sign Language
I have been trained by 5 cats over the past 10 years. They all used the same basic sign language method of training. Of course, there are many variations to the method. It all depends on how fast a learner you are and/or on how fast you complied with their requests. These are the 4 basic communications.

Teaching the Human “I Want Food Now”

1. Stand or sit close to human and stare at them until they look at you, then lick your lips to indicate you are ready to eat.
2. Jump on human and lick their lips.
3. Jump on human and bite their lips.

In all cases, follow up by immediately leading them to your preferred eating place.

Telling the Human “It’s Time to Wake Up”

1. Sit on bed and stare at them until they open their eyes.
2. Sit on human and stare at them until open their eyes.
3. Lick the human’s lips or eyelids until they wake up.
4. Sit on human and give them a few good smacks across face – claws kept in.
5. If none of the above work–carefully insert one claw inside human’s nose and press down.

In all cases, follow up by immediately leading them to your preferred eating place.

Letting the Human Know “I’m Unhappy with You”

1. Refuse to acknowledge them.
2. If they look at you, turn your back on them.
3. If they touch you, get up and move away.
4. Indicate that you are hungry and then refuse your food.
5. Shred something that belongs to them.
6. Beat up dogs – if available.

Telling the Human “I Like You”

1. Sit beside them.
2. Curl up on their lap.
3. Rub head on them.
4. Lift head, look them in the eye, and indicate that you will allow yourself to be kissed.
5. Present them with a mouse (dead or alive) – if available.

There are pros and cons to learning what your cat is telling you. On the one hand it makes life simpler when you know what it is your cat wants. On the other hand, once your cat has you trained in the basics and knows that you are trainable, she will continue the instruction. You will be in training for life.

Why the Water Pistol is My New Best Friend

It’s been nearly 3 weeks now since I decided to adopt Tiger, a lovely brown tabby. He is 8 months old and intact. He has had his shots and gets his booster this Wednesday. Then there is a 2 week wait before they will do the neuter. In the meantime, all is loud and stinky at my house. Max (the 5 year old neutered male) has not welcomed Tiger. He wails when Tiger comes near and Tiger is always coming near to him. I think he enjoys upsetting Max. There have been a few fur flying episodes, with Max the aggressor and the one who got the scratch across his nose. I have a water pistol handy at all times, one in every room in fact. At the end of a really bad day I don’t even have to use it, just show it to them and they both run.
Tiger is a friendly cat who wants to play. Unfortunately, neither Max nor Luna (7 year old female) wants to be around him. He keeps approaching Luna and gets hissed at for his trouble. He runs towards her hoping she will chase him and play, but she backs off, growls or hisses, and then turns her back on him.
We finally got a Feliway Plug-in for the living room. It hasn’t really kicked in yet, though Max does seem a little less tense when Tiger is in the same room. A couple of times he has even let Tiger walk past without yowling and smacking him. I’m hoping that’s not as good as it gets.
The worst of course is the smell, the constant cleaning, and the crawling around trying to find the source. Max started spraying as soon as Tiger was let in the house. The first week was the worst. Max has let up, but now Tiger has started. Not everyday, but enough to make you despair.
Anyway, Tiger has made himself at home, despite the other cats. I’m hoping that once he’s fixed, Max will accept him; or at least be able to ignore him.
The only quiet time is overnight. Tiger is shut in the sun room to sleep at night. It’s very comfortable in there, bit cushy chair to sleep in, water, food and litter box. But he hates being segregated; whines the whole time I’m carrying him out there. I’ve learned not to say “bedtime” because he runs and hides. That’s after he learned that running to my bed, curling up and pretending to be asleep wasn’t going to work.